"If I am to go on living in the body, this means fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! Philippians 1:22 NIV

Paul is trying to decide if he should stay here on planet earth or go to be with Jesus in heaven, and shed his physical body. Do you think God was giving him a choice? 

No , I don't think so. God has His appointed times for all He does. It is well planned out, even those things we are surprised about. It may be God tries to tell us and we miss His signs. We can move at a breakneck pace trying do what we thing we should.

How can God speak to us if we are too busy doing what is on our agenda? When do we relax with God and ask Him what He wants? 
I had such a situation. I wasn't doing anything wrong but I was missing the mark. 

I felt as Paul did when he was knocked off his horse by the presence of God and blinded by the light. Depression overcame me like the ocean covers the shore. One minute it wasn't there the next it completely engulfed me. I was undone.

At first I thought I could ignore it, but doing so is how I got there in the first place. I didn't know this at the time. Certainly this was a passing feeling. I needed to rest I thought. I couldn't.

I was unable to sleep, eat or function normally. God, what are you doing? He was doing a deep work in me, and I needed to learn how to lean and rest as never before. 

On the other side, I learned life is precious, and short. We do not know what a day will bring, but our God is able to keep us in His rest and grace even when we don't know what is happening.

His plan is good and right even when it hurts. The hurting has to come to the surface for healing to happen. God doesn't want anything left in darkness, but all things to come to His light. I can say as our Apostle Paul has said, "If I am to go on living in this body, this means fruitful labor for me!"